what's right with this picture?

So maybe you have read about following your dreams and being happy and you are thinking to yourself this girl must be crazy! How do I even get to think about all that when right now all I need is something to just get me through the day.

Something that I have found useful is that every single time something you consider bad happens, always take a step back and ask yourself what is right with this picture. Notice how I say “a situation you consider bad” because it’s all about the way you look at things. Some things are not bad at all if you would just look at them differently. So in an unpleasant/”bad” situation, always ask yourself...what about this picture is right. No matter how small it may seem to be, consider it a positive thing about your situation. This helps you keep a positive mind, and we all know a positive mind is key to getting yourself out of negative situations.

Many times things we wish for or have been praying for actually come true and are given to us but sometimes not in the way we wanted or were expecting them. So for example: you have been hoping that you leave your job and start your own business for a long time. Then one day you get to work and you find that you are getting retrenched...and you think BUMMER!! because this in many cases is not good, the world considers retrenchments to be a bad thing. But when you ask yourself what about this situation is good, what is right about this picture... you will find that maybe the reason you lost your job is so that you can actually give your own business a shot. One door closes and another one opens but sometimes because of fear or insecurity or because generally things don’t work like that we don’t realize when opportunity knocks at our door. Instead of crying and stressing about your losses, take this as a chance to do what you have been praying you do.

Every dark cloud has a silver lining. Now people say this all the time and it may sound cliché but it is true. There is always something positive about a situation that you may consider bad; let’s look at a few examples

1. The global recession – the global recession SUUUUUCKS. Many have lost their money, jobs, you name it but it has taught a lot of companies, governments, people to make better decisions, place better policies basically take better care of their money. Has forced many to learn how to budget, spend their money wisely and where ever possible save money. Now I think those are very valuable lessons. Some have even quit smoking and drinking because they cannot afford it anymore...they will live longer!...lol...seriously they will.

2. You get dumped by your girlfriend/boyfriend – ooouch that does suck. Being rejected is just so cold man...lol. You start to question every little thing about yourself, am I not good enough, am I such a bad person. Now if the person ill treated you e.g said mean things, were disrespectful towards you, cheated on you basically were not good for you remember you are not a bad person, be glad you found out and though it hurts at least now you know the kind of person they are, where you stand with them and next time you can choose a partner who respects you and is more deserving of you. If on the other hand you ill treated, disrespected, or cheated on someone and got dumped, well its time you reflect on those actions and begin to change your ways for the better. If you are just not compatible in beliefs and character then just let it go mami/papi...hehehe...just shake it off and move on.

3. You are a team leader and no one seems to respect you – very difficult thing to experience. What’s right with this situation – you learn how to manage people, learn how to foster team spirit and you get to look at your own character and see how you can improve yourself so you can be a better leader, maybe you need to humble yourself, maybe you need to listen to your team more, maybe you need to be assertive and and and...but you do see how this can help improve you.

The list of examples is endless we could spend all day talking about that. The morale of the story is that: every time you are in a situation you consider bad...always ask yourself what about this situation is positive, what good things can come of this...and that will help you get back on track. Remember trouble aint gonna be here everyday and joy comes in the morning!

Be Blessed

with love...tafie

choose happiness

I think winter is fast approaching and I am starting to get depressed because I love cape town summers they are so fabulous and the winter sucks coz it does not go away! I still remember that I wore woolen clothing in October last year :( ...the trauma! I hope this year will be different.

Anyway I hope y’all are had a great weekend. Was chatting with a friend the other day and they were telling me about how a guy who is interested in them was saying that they hope to make her happy. To this she told the guy that he cannot make her happy but that he can only complement happiness which is already there...ya she is deep like that...lol! This got me thinking, happiness must be a choice...if it is then I choose happiness.

How come some of us can never seem to be happy though? Something is always in the way of true joy and we seem to be waiting for certain events to take place so that we can be happy. We tell ourselves I’ll be happy when I get that job, I’ll be happy when I date that person or I’ll be happy when such a thing happens and so the story goes.

Here’s what I noticed: The way you live your life can determine whether or not you are happy. You can choose to always look at what is going wrong in your life and complain about how you don’t have this and that. This will surely get you down because usually when you look at how you haven’t done what you wish to do you’ll notice how long a way you have to go. We were having a discussion with another friend about how we don’t have the couches that we really would love to have and how long we think it will take to have our dream cars and how some of our peers seem to be doing so much better than us and how they have gone here and there and their lives just seem to be going on so well and we seem to be stuck in the same routine and blah blah blah....and then it hit me! The biggest source of unhappiness; comparing yourself to other people! This is the sure way to get depressed because you can count a million people who seem to be doing better than you are.

Another source of unhappiness is guilt. Guilt strips you of your joy. You haven’t forgiven yourself for something that you did a while ago and it eats away at you every day. Smile friend, God has already forgiven you and all you need to do now is forgive yourself and move on. If you make a mistake, take the lesson you get from it and move on. Dwelling on it doesn’t do anybody any good. To err is human so there - dust yourself off and try again.

Greed and jealousy also make you unhappy. Wanting everything or wanting what other people have is a recipe for disaster. It makes you ungrateful and dissatisfied with who you are. You fail to realize the progress you are making because you so busy envying other people. You also fail to be happy for others when they do well. You have heard of those people who never rejoice when someone other than themselves do well...yeah they are also called HATERS! Greed and jealousy are the root of selfishness.

It doesn’t have to be like that though. You can turn your life around and start to enjoy it. Here’s how you can achieve this:

All that glitters is not gold - Stop comparing yourself to other people. You will never ever be somebody else so you had better start liking yourself because fortunately/unfortunately that is all you got. Most times you don’t really know what somebody else is battling with because people generally walk out their houses and put on a great smile despite what issues they may be going through. If people’s problems were stamped on their foreheads you would be surprised at how blessed you are to be you. You would also be relieved that you are not going through some situations that the people you envy are going through. Someone’s life may seem like it’s on track but in actual fact they may be unhappier than you are...so like yourself...no don’t like yourself...LOVE yourself and direct your efforts towards making yourself better.

Laugh at yourself - Forgive yourself when you make mistakes and move on. Yeah I know you do get those people though who will never make you forget what you did in 1999...lol. If memory was a person, they would be it! They are always ready to tell everybody what you did. Don’t mind them. Take whatever they say lightly, actually laugh at yourself; beat them at their own game and tell the story yourself, say you would never believe what I once did....

Do the things that make you happy - take time to indulge yourself in the things that make you happy, whether its reading a book, going to the beach, singing in the shower even if people say your voice is not the best...who cares...it brings you joy so you go ahead and do it...keep it within the legal limits though...lol. You’ll realize that the less self conscious you become, the less you worry about what people will say about you, the more you will do what makes you happy.

Have a great attitude - Your attitude towards your life is everything. Tell yourself I am not going to let other people bring me down. You will find that when you have a great attitude not that many things will faze you and people will treat you differently. Give out great energy and you will attract positive energy back. If you are always grumpy, tense and on edge so many things will frustrate you, you’ll be pissed off at the fact that the till operator did not smile at you and yet if you had a great attitude you would have smiled at them first and helped make their busy day a better day.

Don’t dwell on the minors - Don’t be petty. Dwelling on the petty issues gives you nothing but stress. Be a flexible person who can appreciate that people will do things differently from the way you do things. If it works out just fine, great...don’t dwell on unimportant issues. I recently heard about a party where the host asked people to come with their own glasses because they didn’t want to clean up afterward...seriously?! I was like damn! That’s a nyowani (new one). How are your guests supposed to enjoy themselves if they are afraid of littering your place?

Surround yourself with positive minded people - We probably all know that person who does not have anything good to say about anything or anyone...yeah you guessed right they are also known as a HATER! Talking to them is the most draining thing ever because all that comes out of their mouth is negativity and more negativity. Stay away from people who pull you down and drain you of all energy. Be around those who have a positive outlook on life, they are mostly easy going and know how to have a good time. If the hater is your husband, your sister, or someone who by circumstance you can’t physically get away from then eish...you are screwed!...lol just playing you are not..there is something that you can do but this will be covered in a topic of its own so stay tuned!

Give - I don’t know of a single person who does not feel good when they give to others. Giving doesn’t necessarily mean money, you can give time, take time to help someone with a problem. You can give complements...tell someone how great they are, or how well dressed they are. You can smile at someone and it could change their day. Don’t always think about what people can do for you, think of what you can do for somebody else. Be a giver, it will definitely bring you joy.

Be blessed and be happy

with love...tafie

doing that which you love

So a couple of days ago I was hanging out with some friends at one of our favourite hang outs, Buena Vista, talking about nothing and everything as always. They say your teenage years are the most confusing years of your life but boy are they wrong. Try being in your twenties and you have finished studying a degree that you are very sure you are not passionate about, you have landed a job that strips you of every joy there is and when Sunday night comes your stomach hurts at the thought of yet another week at that job. They say you are a young adult and so you should know what you are doing and where you are headed but all you feel is uncertainty, insecurity and you wish you had the chance to just do more of what you love and less of what you are stuck with.

We decided to just indulge each other and share our goals and dreams and I noted that it is generally very difficult for people to share their dreams and passions. This is because 1). people are afraid that the idea might not sound good/cool enough, 2). some people are afraid to dream because they believe their background is not the kinda background where dreams come true, they don't believe they are worthy enough to have goals and dreams, 3). people do not fully understand their own dreams and also because 4).people don't have an idea where to start. Isn't that always the million dollar question; how do I get to do what I love? And when you find the answer to that ple-e-ease let a girl know because I have been battling with that for some time now...lol. But cheer up it is not all doom.

Here are some things I have come to realise:
1). It is important to dream, and dream big. Yes yes it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and like you on top of the world until someone pinches you and you realise you are at work and are daydreaming again..lol. No seriously, it is important to dream. Each and every single person was called to do something. There is something that you are good at, there is something that you can do; and more often than not it is actually something that comes naturally to you. So next time when you are cracking your head trying to think what your purpose is, take a moment and look at some of those things that you are naturally good at you could be surprised at what you find.

2). It is important that you start speaking of your dreams. Now hold up!, you don't have to tell the whole world about it, share it with those who are close to you, those who are there for you and can encourage you because;

3). Speaking about your dream pushes you to want to do something about it. There is something about saying it out loud; it’s the start of building that confidence that you can do it. Letting others know is also good in that they can help look out for opportunities for you because you do know that everybody knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody else who can get you connected right?

4). Have a picture of what you ultimately want to see. Ask yourself if this world were mine what would I want this to look like. This helps in that once you have a big picture you can start to find small ways to accomplish smaller targets that will eventually get you to the big dream. Always have the bigger picture in your head.

5). Write it down. I have come to realise that writing things down is so powerful. It helps put down on paper that which you are thinking of doing, it helps you break it down and understand it. You can always refer to it at a later stage just to remind yourself of what you intend to do and besides most people who have accomplished their goals and dreams say they wrote their dreams down so just..you know...follow suit.

6). Pray. Pray about it. In Joshua 1 God says that every place where you set your foot I will give it to you but be strong and courageous; be very strong and courageous. Ask God to guide you and direct you footsteps. Making a dream into a reality is not an easy task at most times, you have to be prepared to work hard because anything that is of substance comes from hard work. It will be challenging, there will be all sorts of trials but if you persevere, work hard, stay disciplined, courageous, strong and in keeping with God's will for your life, your dreams will come to pass.

Be Blessed

with love...tafie