they are not the only fish in the sea

Okay...let's touch a lil bit on break ups...
give yourself closure:
So you have broken up and you could not be more heart broken...you have never felt such pain. All you want to do is crawl up in bed, cry and never be seen again! You keep calling them to ask how they could do such a thing to you and you say you just want to understand so that you can have closure. Let me tell you now...no one else but YOU...only YOU can give yourself closure. The other partner cannot do that. There is nothing that they will say that will make total sense and give you the peace you searching for. Learn to give yourself closure. It is painful because you cannot believe that this very person who is being so mean and so cold towards you is the very person who not so long ago said had the utmost respect for you. The sudden switch of emotions is very difficult to handle. Don’t continuously hurt yourself by reaching out to them hoping they will say something different. Let it go as hurtful as it is just let it go and focus on getting better.

emotional roller coaster:
At times you get those that break up with you and then keep coming back, chatting you up as if they want to work things out ...lol- one minute they say they are confused the next they are into you, the next they are not...the hot and cold attitude...can they make up their minds please! jislaaik! Don’t allow yourself to go through such an emotional roller coaster. If someone wants to be with you they don’t beat about the bush. If you are not getting clarity...dust that off.

learn to let go:
Letting go is necessary...don’t hold on and try and convince someone that you are amazing...If they cannot see that for themselves then you don’t really want them anyway. Sometimes we don’t see it but God will be saving us from a lot of hurt that could have come along had we continued dating this person. I mean think about it, deep down inside you had those doubts about them and wondered if they would change certain habits or traits that you did not see yourself compromising on. This could very well be your get out of jail free card and you got to take this opportunity to self search and go over those aspects that didn’t work for you in that just ended relationship and see how you can improve yourself and become stronger.

they are not the only fish in the sea:
haha forget the cartoon coz seriously they are not the only fish in the sea...lol...just because one person did not treat you as they should have does not mean that everybody else is like that. Always be open to meeting new people, go out, dress fabulously, you won’t meet anyone different if all you do is sit at home and brood over bygones.

Be Blessed

with love...tafie

quarter life crises...

I hope y’all had a wonderful Easter...wasn’t it just great to take a break and celebrate our Lord Jesus and all that he did for us so that we may be free! I had blessed and amazing time. Today was one of the most beautiful days I have ever had not only because the weather was great but also because I got to spent a whole day with some of my dearest friends. We headed out to Noordhoek and spent the day there enjoying the beach and chatting away, you know catching up...girls gotta catch up..hehe. As we got to talking we realized that we were having what we decided to call quarter life crises...lol...yeah I did say quarter life crises...I know y’all are thinking dayum girl that’s a nyowani (new one)!!

Quarter life crises includes some of the following things... you are in your twenties and are trying to discover who you really are, what your purpose in life is, are trying to change the kind of person you are into the type of person you want to be, are questioning the kind of relationships you have with some friends, the kind of person you are dating or should be dating, are wondering when Mr or Miss right is going to come along, are considering getting married or are married and have loads of issues, are feeling like you are in the wrong job and wondering if you should make a career change, are unemployed, are feeling like you are going through changes but are actually not sure in what direction, are at the crossroads and wondering which way to go, are needing financial miracles hehe, are confused. Basically you feel like you are driving along a one way street only that you are going in the opposite direction and all the cars are hooting at you...you can see in a distance the lane you should be taking only that there seems to be a big hole in the middle and you have no idea how you are ever going to get there. If you are experiencing any of the symptoms mentioned above...you are suffering from quarter life crises...lol

What I want you to know is firstly you are not the only one experiencing it. Have an honest conversation with some of your friends and you will discover that they are going through it too. They are thinking...where is my life headed. Secondly, it is okay to feel that way...it is the process of self discovery, it shows that you are growing up and are taking time to actually find out who you are, what makes you happy, who you should be hanging around with, or what you should invest in. If you do not question yourself or go through some difficult experiences, you never really grow in maturity. Does it suck..YES it sucks big time!....is it daunting...ABSOLUTELY...but you will get through it and when you do, you will be a better person for it.

Here are some important things to remember whilst you go through this season in your life:

1. It is okay to face such challenges, or question if you are really living the way that you should because this is how true change and self discovery come along.

2. You are not alone. Do not beat yourself up about it...it is absolutely normal to feel overwhelmed and wonder if you are making good decisions...give yourself a break.

3. Do not apologize for wanting to be a better you, or changing the social circles you hang around, or wanting to get a better job and and and....you need to become the person you were meant to be and to do this some things have to change, you may have to let go of certain habits, people, or jobs.

4. What does not kill you will only make you stronger. Whatever challenges you may be facing remember that when they are over, you would have learnt some lessons that will stick with you for life.

5. Be still and know that He is God. Spend some time meditating and reading the word. Sometimes when things around you seem to be going crazy or too fast all you need to do is just stand still and let God do His work in you. We know He has a purpose and a plan for each of our lives. Allow Him to direct your footsteps in every aspect of your life...be it at work, socially, in your family, your dreams, love life, whatever the case may be put you trust in Him and He will see you through it. Read Matthew 6: 25 – 34 where God tells us not to worry about anything...what we will eat, drink or wear but to seek His kingdom first and all these things shall be added unto us.

Be Blessed

with love...tafie

put in the hard work

Now I love clothes, love to make clothes, the creativity process excites me, I really enjoy it and it’s something that I have recently really been focusing a lot of my attention on. There is a lovely lady who I met when I purchased my sewing machine who I truly believe is God sent because she just took to me and was very nice to me. When I first met her I did not understand why she was so warm towards me only to realize a little later that God had placed her in my life so that she could be my mentor because has heaps and heaps of knowledge about fashion, sewing and tips on how to make really awesome patterns and she just loves to impart all this knowledge unto me. I was at her home yesterday asking her all sorts of questions and after giving me information she says to me, ‘Ok get up and start on what we have been talking about right now’. So she watched me make a pattern for 4hours and she would just constantly say to me, ‘Do all the necessary work Tafie and remember to be patient’. Then I just started thinking to myself nothing comes easy. If I want something of substance, I have to put in the hard work. Making the pattern was taking forever but I had to sit there...rather stand there and do all the measurements right because this was the start of a garment that I am going to make which I haven’t even bought fabric for but if I want it to look amazing like it was store bought and not homemade I have to make sure I put in the necessary work.

In whatever you do, in trying to do achieve anything, put in the hard work. We can’t get anywhere if all we do is wish and talk about how we are making a plan all the time. Don’t get me wrong it is good to have a plan but at some point we have to start working on that plan. Walking a thousand miles starts with a first step. Nothing will be handed to you on a silver platter, one has to work for what they want or the change they need to see. Hard work lays the foundation for what you want to ultimately see and just like my pattern example, if I do not work hard on making it to be as good as it should be it affects all the work that is going to be done afterward because if the pattern is not good enough that means the garment I make off it will also not be good enough.

Hard work, practice and patience will surely get you where you want to go. My housemate and I love food, we love to cook and lately we have been into making Indian curries. Our first curry...lol...can you say disaster...I was like if any Indian person tastes this they will be like ‘oh my word...what have you black kids done to our food!’...lol...I promise you we put in the right ingredients for a lamb korma but it was nothing like the kormas we have tasted before...hehehehehe...I didn’t know that putting in the right ingredients was only half the job! Practice makes perfect because after a couple of tries we definitely got the hang of it and have started to make delicious curries because we didn’t give up and kept on trying.

Get into it, pull up your sleeves and get those hands dirty. Put in the hard work so that one day you can see your dream realized. There is no big secret to making it in whatever field you wish to, it is all about working hard. The Bible does say in Ecclesiastes 9:10 that whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might and in Proverbs 14:23 that all hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. We so often hear how talk is cheap, don’t just be a talker, be a doer, walk the walk and you will be surprised how the Lord will bless your work.

Be Blessed

with love...tafie