to be...or not to be?

Hey hey everybody, so good to be back again...how I’ve missed y’all. Eish I won’t even begin to explain why I’ve been MIA and what’s been happening all these months but...yeah..feels so good to be back

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I’ve been thinking about lots of things I wanna share with you all the while though. One of the things that come to mind is choices...to be or not to be! Every single day we make choices that determine how our lives turn out. We are choosing who we want to be on a daily base. It’s actually kinda freaky to know that we are shaping our lives as we speak. The words we choose to use when we are describing ourselves shape who we are...I guess that’s why they say, don’t speak negativity over your life otherwise you will live a miserable life. You hear things like you reap what you sow...meaning the decisions you make will determine how well your life turns out. It is important to make good choices so let’s talk about how we could improve our decision making skills.

Have you noticed how we sometimes do not want to make a decision because we fear being blamed for having chosen the wrong thing should something bad happen? Taking responsibility sometimes seems daunting but we can’t just take the back seat and hope our lives go in the right direction. Life is what you make of it so you have to step up and decide how you will live yours.

First things first, don’t view yourself as an indecisive person. Some of us tend to get a lot more confused than others. At times we are torn as to what to do and when person A tells us what they think we ought to do we are like, "great, that’s what I’ll do". Then person B comes along and says oh that is crazy you should do such and such instead...then confusion arises. I have realized that usually when we are so confused as to what to do and keep going back and forth between choices, it’s because in that situation we’re not sure of ourselves or are afraid of what those who are important to us might think...simply put we’ll be being afraid to be decisive. Next time you find yourself in such a situation, look at it this way; those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Once you get rid of indecisiveness, learn to make independent decisions. Just because your best friend is doing one thing doesn’t mean you have to do that too. It is great to seek advice from close friends and family and we must for no man is an island. However, sometimes we have to choose differently from what everybody else around us is doing. This may make you feel out of place and sometimes your friends may even think you have lost your mind but if you believe that’s what’s right for you, then stand for it and do it. After all, we may be very similar to those around us but we are not the same person so at times our choices will differ and that’s alright.

Beware of emotions - Emotions are great and we ought to consider how we feel about certain things. It is important though to keep them in check for if not monitored, they could lead to our destruction. Always try and see the facts first. Example, is say you are not happy in your job, the thought of spending another week there depresses you. If you make an emotional decision and just quit your job you could find yourself unable to pay rent, or put food on the table for a few months. It would be wise to tell yourself that yes I do hate my job but fact is I will probably be able to get another job in 3months. Until then I will stick it out so that the transition to a different job/business will not be stressful financially. Am I saying totally disregard how you feel...NO... but weigh in the facts and make a sound decision.

Follow your instincts - How many times do you hear people saying, “Oh you know I had this feeling I was not supposed to do that but I did it anyway and now look where it got me”. Instincts are very important and should not be ignored. Develop logic and all sorts of decision making skills but learn to follow your gut. Almost every success story mentions how one followed their instincts and that’s what got them through...so do the math.

Weigh your options and prioritize - Write down pros and cons. It will really help you to see what the positive and negative sides to a particular decision are. Once that’s done, prioritize. Set your priorities right. Remember the good old important vs. urgent quadrants. Beware of wasting time prioritizing things that may seem urgent yet in actual fact they are not at all important. These are the things that don’t really matter but take up a lot of your time.

Take your time. You know sometimes we put ourselves under pressure when there really is no pressure. Society might generally do things in one way but that doesn’t mean that’s the only way it should be done. Don’t rush into things because you feel pressured to get into it something. Lots of examples of this one, been talking to a number of ladies lately who are like, "oh my word I’m 27 and time is running out for me to meet the one and you know everyone from my university is getting married and have babies and I got nothing... oh my I guess I should just date guy X coz even though I believe he is not my type he ain’t that bad and he’ll change with time you know"....Um NO he won’t and you are settling for way less than you are worth. You time is coming, just be patient and in time all things will work out well for you. You know what they say, all good things come to those who wait...ain’t it true Miss Zinoro?LOL! The same goes for jobs, business ventures you name it...in time, it will all come together...God will not pass you by...in the fullness of time His promises to you will be fulfilled so just hang in there a little while longer.

It can really be difficult to make good choices especially if you have a past of making bad decisions. Sometimes you know you need to change and start doing things in a different way. You really badly want to but somehow you find yourself doing the same old things again and again. Then you feel guilty and like you a failure and can never do anything right. I heard a saying that has been encouraging me to see some of my old habits die and it goes like...What you feed grows and what you starve eventually dies. So friend, what are you feeding, and what are you starving?

Prayer changes things - Ask God to help you to make the right choices in life. It says that the Holy Spirit will walk with us everywhere we go if we invite Him in. He is our Counselor. God speaks to us and He wants our lives to go in a particular direction. How will you know which choices to make to get to what God has in store for you if you don’t ask Him to show you? He will not only help you make good choices, He will give you the strength to see them through and to stand for what you believe in.

Be Blessed,

with love...tafie