Thought of the day: Carry good news!

In this world we live in which is so full of negativity, it's so easy to constantly talk about the bad things people do. It seems gossip spreads like fire and yet good news takes so long to get around. It’s sad how as humans we tend to have more fun tearing someone down than building them up. I had a leader sometime ago who was very good at keeping our team encouraged and motivated just by the way she reinforced the good qualities in us. She would get a member of the team to stand at the front and ask five other members to tell the person to their face the things they were good at. There is no better way to encourage someone than letting them know what their strengths are. It helps fire them up inside so that they can get ready to take on the giants in their lives. So today why don’t you try to say something good about other people. Better yet, tell the person to their face what you admire in them. Examples include, “I admire the way you do your work, you are so organized it’s amazing”… OR “You know, you are a really humurous person, you light up the room when you walk in”… OR “You are very intelligent, you always come up with great ideas” …the list is endless. There are lots of pressures everyone is dealing with in their personal lives and nice words of encouragement from a collegue, workmate, friend, parent, or lover will go a long way in making one’s day better. When you say encouraging words to others, they too will in turn say encouraging words to you. Don’t be a messenger of doom but be a carrier of good news and bless somebody today!

Be Blessed

with love…tafie

chasing a dream...much like hiking?

I recently went hiking across one of the little islands in Hong Kong called Lamma. Because I have a fear of snakes and creepy crawly creatures I like to avoid activities such as running in the woods or hiking. So when I was faced with the idea of having to hike across this island I felt more terrified than excited. But I challenged myself to do it. This would be my first hike ever and I was determined to go through with it. I gave myself a “you can do it speech” and off I went armed with my bottles of energy drinks and water. While I was on the hike I realized that it was just like chasing a dream. To help illustrate what I mean by this I will give the hiking story first and then use it as reference to explain why it is like chasing a dream.

Hiking Story: After talking about how this would be a good adventure I felt really pumped. When the ferry dropped us off on one end of the island I jumped off in excitement ready to begin the hike. Even though I was going on this hike by myself, there were other people who I met on the ferry going on the same trail so I was not so afraid. The first few kilometres were just dense bushes and I soon felt despondent. I said to myself, “I have been walking for a while now and all I see is just dense bushes…how boring.” A few metres from when I said this I came up to a beautiful sandy beach. It was a hot day and I was sweating like a pig. I decided to take a break and swim in the water. It felt so good and I thought to myself “I could just stay here and swim all day long. Who needs a hike when you can spend a day at the beach?” Then a higher thought said “come on just finish the hike” so I left the cool waters and went back on the trail. It became steeper and steeper but after I went round a bend I came to a very beautiful spot and I thought “WOW this is what I came here for, what an amazing view.” I got energized and kept going. I was still checking my surroundings very carefully to make sure nothing came out of the bushes to bite me.

After this I came to something like a valley and I went through it and came up to an even higher spot and the scenery from there was even more spectacular. It seemed every time there was a hilltop, I had to go through some sort of valley to get to it. After walking for a while I saw these two men who had been on the ferry with me taking a break at a rest spot a few metres ahead. I was catching up to them. I also took a break at that same spot taking in all the natural beauty around me. I then told myself that since I was afraid of snakes, I would just rest here a little while longer and let these men go ahead of me. This is how I pictured it in my head: If a snake came out of the bushes, it would bite them first, they would scream, I would hear it and then I would run for my life in the other direction. Perfect plan! So a few minutes after the men left the resting spot I started off on the trail again. It became even steeper but I kept up with it. When I came to the top of the hill I found those men taking another break. Then I thought “Oh no! Now I have to pass them and lead the way.” Something just told me, “C’mon you can do it.” So I went past them and soon after I came round to another view point and the scenery was breathtaking. I just stood there and appreciated Mother Nature. Then I went on the rest of the way. I met some fishermen who encouraged me to keep going and told me that I was close to the other end of the island. Many minutes later I arrived at the other side of the island. I had made it! I felt so good. I was happy I went on the hike. AND I did not see any snakes along the way. While I was waiting for the ferry to get back to Hong Kong I thought to myself, “This is surely how it must be like to chase a dream.” There are ups and downs, valleys and hilltops, dense bushes and beautiful sandy beaches that you will have to go through if you want to achieve your dreams. Let’s take a look at the illustration below.

Fear of snakes: I had never gone on a hike because I had a fear of what may attack me while I was out in the bushes. Many people have a dream but they are so overtaken by fear that the thought of just stepping into their dreams cripples them and they never try. A lot of people just consider that their fears will come true and so they feel too powerless to even make an effort. They give up before they even begin. Do not let fear cripple you. Accept that you are afraid and look fear in the eye and tell yourself I am afraid but I will give it a try.

Dense Bushes: Many of us start out really excited and we get on with it, but after we have been working for a while and not really getting any returns we think to ourselves “Oh it is just dense bushes and nothing will come of it.” Then we stop here and go back and never have our dreams realized. It is hard work to make dreams come true and for a while after you have started you may not see any real returns. It does not mean that it will never happen, you just have to keep going and not give up because not long after that you will get to the…

Beautiful sandy beach: Some will continue and get past the dense bushes and they will come to the beach. Here they will rest and play in the water. They will be so happy here that they ditch the rest of the hike and spend the rest of their time enjoying what the beach offers. When you get to the ‘sandy beach’ enjoy it for you deserve it. Take a break. Take time to look at what you have achieved but do not stop here forever. There is more in store for you and if you never challenge yourself to go further, you cannot see the entirety of your dreams realised.

Hilltops: Those who will get back on the trail will see even better views. However, to get to the hilltops they will go through the valleys. The higher the hilltop, the deeper the valley. Sometimes I wish life would be simpler, but there is so much at stake when you take risks. The constant fear of whether things will work out really does take a toll on most people and the more risks you take to achieve your goals, the tougher the road is. The great news is that if you make it through the valley, you will certainly see great rewards for your hard work. The time in the valley will be difficult because sometimes you cannot even see the hilltop you are trying to get to. You are just surrounded by more and more of the valley. Keep climbing up to the top, don’t lose heart, don’t give up, you can make it and you will be so much better for it. Also remember to enjoy where you are while you are waiting to get where you are going. Even in the valley, find things you can enjoy for the time we really truly have is now.

Rest: When you come to a rest and meet up with people who you never thought you would catch up to fear may take you over. I mean let’s face it; you cannot believe you have caught up to the ‘big dogs’ who you admired before. I had so little faith in myself that I was surprised that I had actually caught up to the people who went ahead of me. Don’t rule yourself out so easily. Do not sell yourself short. You too are capable of doing great things. Do not be afraid to take the lead because you have fear of the unknown. You cannot measure your scorecard according to other people’s scorecards because you do not know what it is they are facing on their journey. Instead of taking the lead you maybe so afraid that you decide to slow your own progress so that others may go before you. Take charge and go ahead you can do it.

Cheerers along the way: You will be surprised how much encouragement there is around. Have you ever wondered how when you are facing a particular challenge, there is always someone that you either know very well or a stranger who will speak words of encouragement into your life. When you are feeling weary, read inspirational stories, books, and blogs of people who have made it before and take note of how they kept going in the face of challenges. Also, share your story with others; you never know who you will encourage. When you sow encouragement you too will reap encouragement. Everyone is trying to be the best they can be, it helps a lot if along the way you meet people who will cheer you on.

When you are done and you look back and see how far you have come, you will be surprised to see that you did not meet any ‘snakes’ along the way. Your worst fear did not happen because you faced it and it shrunk back to where it belongs. Instead you went from strength to strength seeing breakthrough after breakthrough until victory was won. I hope this will encourage you whatever stage you are at the moment to keep going on.

Be blessed,

with love…tafie

don't be that

I was thinking over the past few weeks that the human mind can really get accustomed to anything. If you are put in a tiny little box and told to live there and eat once every 2days you could pull it off. In the beginning you may hate it but you will start getting used to it and may eventually like being in your little box. You could tell yourself that it’s better in the box because you get a lot of ‘me time’ and you get to ‘stay away from haters’. You can convince yourself that the box is what you deserve and when someone offers you a stale slice of bread you cannot believe it. It blows your mind because you have gotten accustomed to having nothing that anything you are offered no matter how crappy it is seems like the best gift ever. This is a very dangerous mentality to have. This is accepting every situation and every word spoken to you as though it is true. A habit a lot of us suffer from and we need to cut it out. This post is going to discuss how we can learn to not be defined by the world, how to not accept lies as though they are truth but to define ourselves in positive way in line with how God sees us.
Get this - not everything that people say about you or how they perceive you is true. If growing up you felt like you not special and there’s nothing you can do. You couldn’t be farther from the truth. At times there are a lot of nay sayers in your life who do not believe you are capable of doing what you desire in your heart to do. You can choose to believe what they say and not try or you can chose to not accept that. Don’t be what they say you are. Don’t be that! In the same that you focus on the negative things spoken about you, why not choose to concentrate on the positive. Just don’t accept every word spoken against you and every bad situation thrown your way as the way you should be. Refuse to believe that you will not overcome, choose to believe that your situation will get better and that you will make it no matter how daunting it may all seem.
Here’s why you need to believe the best - when you are full of negativity and doubt and fear that is all you will be...negative, doubtful and fearful. That’s what you will sow and that’s what you will reap...more negativity, more doubt and more fear. Fear keeps you away from accomplishing anything. It tells you that you are not good enough, tells you that you do not deserve any better, it asks you who do you think you are, you really think you can pull this off, c’mon be real you not that special, you don’t have what it takes, you not that talented, and...(insert anything else that fear has been telling you here). See yourself as an achiever, as an over comer, as a conqueror because only when you start believing that you are capable will you move into what your life’s purpose is.
You are not your thoughts - It is very important that you realise you are not your thoughts. A million thoughts can cross your mind everyday but you are not them. You are the one questioning those thoughts and you can choose to ignore them or push them to the back of your mind especially when they do not serve you well. Here’s an example: Going to the gym. Good for you, good for the body but a habit that is hard for a lot of people to maintain. Say you get up and do not feel like exercising because you are too warm in your covers, a number of thoughts and feelings will go through your head. You may think “Oh it’s just one day, I surely can miss one session, plus the gym is boring anyway with all those skinny people cycling away on those bikes...what are they trying to prove? I really don’t think my instructor is that good and since I haven’t lost much weight I doubt it’s working. I hate the gym”...Then because you are not your thoughts, you choose to ignore this and you go to the gym anyway and you on the treadmill feeling really good about yourself and you get thoughts like, “Wow this is so amazing. The gym is the best thing ever! I will get here at 6am tomorrow and work out for 1.5hrs” You feel refreshed and good about yourself. Suddenly your thoughts and feelings about the gym have changed from negative to positive. Do you see how you cannot trust some of your thoughts and emotions? They are so fickle they can change in a matter of minutes. Be in control of them don’t let them control you. Learn to silence your mind when its help is not needed. Sayings like “think positive” exist because it is a fact that you can choose to focus on positivity.
Over thinking brings about procrastination for it prevents you from just getting on with it. We need to adopt a just get on with it attitude and not let our mind arrest us into lack of action. Just do it!
You need to unlearn some lessons - A close friend of mine recently made me realise the power of unlearning lessons that you held true but are in actual fact untrue. You need to go back and think about some things that hold you back, things that hinder you from stepping into all that you can be. You need to go and unlearn those bad lessons and teach yourself the real truth and from now on you will believe what is true instead of the lies you have been feeding yourself for years. It is like teaching yourself a new habit, to unlearn the old one you have to practise the new way of doing things over and over again until it becomes second nature. It takes effort but it is worth it because the fulfilment of your dreams depends on it. Examples of lessons you may need to unlearn could include: “My family is just not a business type family so this entrepreneurship thing just would not suit me.” “All men are dogs” “Every girl wants me for my money” “Showing my wife that I love her is a sign of weakness”. Reflect on some of the untruths you’ve been telling yourself and start to teach yourself different lessons.



Get the fundamentals in place - There are things that are fundamental to your success that you will need to establish and put in place for you to move in the right direction. These differ from person to person so you are the only one who knows what the essentials are for your life. Write these down and ensure that you practise them. When your base, your foundation is sound then you know no matter what comes your way, you can withstand and still stand after the storm has subsided. They help you to keep your focus because they are the reasons you are doing what you do. They keep you grounded and in touch. Examples of such fundamentals are (please note these are just examples they are not instruction on how you should prioritise your life):
· Spiritual well being: reading the bible every day, saying your prayers every day
· Relationships: date night with your partner at least once a week, date with your children say every Saturday afternoon, drinks/lunch with your girls once every month etc
· Business: value for employees, customers, your business strategy, planning, high quality products, being professional etc.
Define your own fundamentals for whichever area of your life you need to and keep them in place that is practising them until they become second nature. This way if any trouble comes your way, you have the basis covered and you know who you are, what you stand for, your core will not be shaken in times of uncertainty for it will be a solid core.
Realise you are a work in progress - Important thing is don’t stop. Just keep moving forward. Learn from your mistakes. Forgive yourself and dust yourself off and try again. Remember when you know better you will definitely do better. Don’t dwell on the past, you are not your past, it’s gone you can’t change it but you can definitely change your future so keep your focus on getting yourself better.
Love knowledge - Educate yourself in the field you are interested in. Learn as much about it as possible. If that means enrolling for courses, doing a masters degree, researching on the internet, getting a mentor whichever way you need to get more knowledgeable do so. Resisting wisdom is foolish.
God’s on your side so really who can be against you? He who the Son sets free is free indeed! The devil is the Father Of Lies who comes to destroy and devour BUT the Son of Man restores, builds, heals, sets free, cheers us on, encourages us to run with what God is calling us to, takes away pain, loves us unconditionally, His loves NEVER fails, He is faithful even when we are faithless for He cannot disown Himself, He intercedes for us to God the Father, keeps and protects His promises to us. This is who you should be going to for rest, to be restored, for direction and to know which way you ought to go.
Be Blessed,
with love...tafie