ove talent, winning is all in the mind. What made me say that?To be a tennis player seeded in the top ten naturally means you have a lot of talent. It means you are fierce on the court. The game I was watching was between the number 3 and number 6 seed. The match was won by the 3rd seed. He proved to be the better player but it did not come easy. He worked for it because his opponent was very tough to beat. In fact the opponent had the winner doing most of the running around. Both players are without doubt really skilled at the game and they came up with amazing shots. The loser had so many opportunities to win, he was in the lead most of the time but every time he had a chance to play a winning shot, he didn’t make it. Interestingly when he was down a point he would pull his best tennis and level with the winner. I realized that this player was more than capable of winning this game. He was good, really good, he gave the eventual winner a run for his money but he lacked the mental strength to win this match. What was funny was that you could see from his face whether his next shot would be a winning one or not. So he did have moments in the game where he believed he could make it and in those moments he soared but when he got discouraged his game also went down.
They constantly speak of how during a match, they play one point at a time and just keep telling themselves that they can do it and eventually they succeed. They have the skill but it is not enough when trying to win world competitions. They have to believe in themselves and in their abilities to succeed. To keep herself mentally strong, you often see Serena Williams reading encouraging material during match breaks. Her focus is amazing. She can be many points down and then You can be the most talented person on earth but if you don’t believe it you will not see the fruits of that talent. I am sure most of you have heard some people say they lost the battle before it even begun. Meaning they did not believe they could make it and so naturally they did not. It is important to believe in yourself. It is important to speak positivity into your life. It is important to be mentally strong. To be mentally prepared to not give up when going through a challenge, or when working on your business, or going for an interview or doing whatever it is you wish to accomplish. To be victorious you have to win that victory in your mind first and then the actions that ensure success will follow.
It is not that successful people don’t face challenges. They do. Difficult ones too but what makes them overcome is the fact that in the face of fear they choose to be courageous. You will have that voice telling you, “You cannot do it, it’s impossible”, choose not to believe it. Instead tell yourself, “Although I am afraid, I am going to keep going. Even if I have no idea how this will turn out, I will believe that I can make it”.
Positive thinking just doesn’t happen overnight. For some sad reason, as humans we tend to think the worst of ourselves. That comes more naturally to most of us than to think of how magnificent and amazing we are. To break that negative pattern of thinking you have to make a conscious decision to be a positive thinker. You will have to do certain things to train your mind to see the possibilities and opportunities instead of focusing on only the negative. If you do this enough times, positive thinking will become second nature just like how currently negative thinking is second nature to most of us.
How can you turn from being a negative into a positive thinker?
1. Unlearn some lessons: growing up we learn many things from family, friends and communities we live in. Though many of these lessons help us to the best we can be, some of them are just not true and to enable positive thinking, you will have to unlearn those lessons and replace them with new ones which are true. Yes you belong to a group of friends or a particular family, and you come from a certain community or country, you are of a certain race but do not use that as an excuse to let fear control you. Don’t hide behind that, come out and let your light shine. We are all capable of achieving our dreams regardless of family history or geographical location, there is much more to life than that. Break free! Let’s look at examples of things you may need to unlearn:
a. It’s not in my blood to do that: Many times you will hear people say, “Oh that would never be possible. We __________s (insert your surname here) are not gifted at that”. Examples include “my family is not a business type family; we just don’t run businesses so I couldn’t possibly be successful at that”.
b. It never rains it pours: This is just one of those statements that bring about problem after problem because we often choose to look at bad events as mutually exclusive instead of independent events and we end up saying, “things never work out for me because problems always come to me in their multiples”. Yet if we would look at each challenge as it arises we would be in a better position to overcome it without feeling overwhelmed.
c. Money never stays: When it comes to money, we want it but we don’t. B
y this I mean many of us want to get more money but we don’t ask for it because we think it is evil to want to have money. So naturally the money we get never lasts because we are confused about how we feel about having money. If you would like to get more money, be honest about it and opportunities that align you with the potential to earn more money will come to you. Tell yourself, money grows on trees and you will be surprised what you will find.
d. Good things never last: Actually they do last. Many times they get better and better but we don’t believe it, how then can we receive it?
e. It’s too good to be true: If you do not believe that you can receive good things then you cannot possibly see amazing possibilities that surround you more often than you think. Try telling yourself, “It is too good and YES it is true”.
2. Learn to silence your inner hater: We are our own biggest enemies. Have you ever realized that most of the time those around us see how talented we are yet we can’t see it. We say, “Oh I don’t know; maybe; I don’t think so; I’m not that good”. When you see thoughts of negativity arising in you, choose a higher thought that you are more than capable.
3. Believe it, it’s true: If you have believed for something and it happens, accept it. It is amazing yes but believe it. We all come from different backgrounds and many of us have overcome unbelievable challenges and hoped for a better day. When the better day comes, believe it is for you. Embrace and enjoy it. Because what will happen when we don’t embrace the success we have is we will think it was not meant to be, we will think it was just random luck and so we become blind to any opportunities that will arise from then onwards. I recently realized I was doing that, sabotaging my own opportunities because I could not believe in the first instance that I am truly being blessed. Many things that happen to us are not by chance, it is because we are really getting opportunities which are specifically ours. Don’t ruin that by thinking it is just random. You are amazing. You can achieve unbelievable things in your life if you choose to.
4. Actively choose positivity: it is amazing the stuff we feed our minds with that affect our way of thinking. Decide which information you will entertain and which you will not. If you want to be a positive thinker you have to look into how other like minded people do it. You can read books on the subject, blogs, websites, listen to programs and music that speaks about positivity. Choose to be around people who encourage you to be positive. Positivity/Negativity can be contagious, choose which team you want to hang around; the nay-sayers that weigh you down or the ones that believe in bringing out the best in you.
Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t shut the door on your opportunities by thinking negatively. You are blessed beyond measure. Believe it and you can achieve it.
It really is all in the mind.
Be Blessed,
with love…tafie
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