love is all there is...

This message has been on my heart for some weeks now but I felt it was more befitting to write it at this time with all that is happening around the world. You have all seen what is happening in Japan, the loss of many lives, destruction of homes, the hurt and pain being experienced at the moment. You have seen the attacks and unrest happening in Libya and other North African countries as we speak. When I watch the news and ponder over everything that I see happening in the world today, I can’t help but realize the importance of living in love with one another and living each day to the fullest. Many times I have heard of love and its opposite which is fear. Fear I know for I have experienced it many times and I see it not just in myself but in people around me, and in nations fighting against each other. It is only recently that I got so tired of always being afraid that I started to ask what love is. I am tired of fear, how can I experience love?

I looked it up on the online dictionary and I found many definitions; some said it was a strong emotion of regard and affection but the best definition I found and would like to share with you is from a brilliant book I am reading called Conversations with God Book 3. (If you ever had any questions on the importance of life, where you fit in as an individual in this whole wide world, relationships, history, love, death, other beings, happiness, you name it, I recommend you read this series of books. It is truly enlightening and is for anyone with an open mind, limitless curiosity and a sincere desire to know the truth. It will change you, your life and the way that you view other beings – Give it a try!)
This book defines love as that which is unlimited, that which is perfectly free and unconditional.

A: Love yourself
Surely love begins at home and by this I mean love begins with loving yourself unconditionally, a truth that many human beings seem to battle with, myself included. I’m working on this but do you find that you are your own biggest critic? Judging yourself very harshly if you make a mistake, refusing to forgive yourself for doing something wrong and living in guilt most of the time? The reason why we struggle with such negative emotions is that we are failing to love ourselves unconditionally. If we did, we would never judge ourselves; never live in guilt (which cripples our progress by the way). We would think the world of ourselves and see how wonderful we are. We do not actually serve anyone or ourselves by putting ourselves down. I’m not telling you to be arrogant, I’m simply encouraging you to think well of yourself and love who you are. Here’s why I believe we should love ourselves:
1. Loving ourselves means we let ourselves be who we truly are, we feel free to live our lives to the fullest. We enjoy rather than dread life.
2. People treat you the way you treat yourself. You teach people how to treat you, and if you do not love yourself then you are teaching those around you the same. If you undervalue who you are and what you do, people will undervalue who you are too.
3. You cannot wish to have love if you are not love. Many believe that to “be something” you have to “have something” but in truth you should “be that thing” then you can “have it”. For instance, if you want to have happiness, you should be happy then you can have happiness. If you want to have love, you should be love, and then you will have love.
4. As humans we will always seek to love and be loved unconditionally. You may be the toughest person but you still desire to love others and be loved freely without judgement. It is our nature and when we experience unconditional love, we soar to great heights.

B: Love other people
We are all one. We may live in different houses, different countries across the earth, have different social backgrounds and speak different languages but we are all one. We are love by nature, and we express love to one another as a basic human instinct. Example: the minute the earthquake hit Japan, the hearts of all people across the earth went out to them. Rescuers immediately left to go over there and help out because when one nation is hurt, all nations are hurt. We are naturally good as people and you may not have noticed this or may deny it but your natural instinct is to act out of love towards other people. Fear however does take us over and makes us holdback where we should extend our love to another. We have trained ourselves so well in this department that it is becoming normal for us to turn a blind eye in cases where we need to speak up. From now on why don’t we try to always act out of love when dealing with other people? Let’s give it a go and see how much better we will be for it. Let’s not become hard hearted, let’s go back to loving others as a basic instinct regardless of nationality, age, race, or sex. I’m of the belief that what you do to another, you do to yourself. If you disrespect one person, you are disrespecting yourself, if you attack another, you are attacking yourself. When you think about this, you will see how much warmer you will be towards others for you know you are being much warmer to yourself.

C: Love unconditionally
You may have heard this time and again but what does it really mean? It means to free others to be who they are and not who you want them to be. To love unconditionally means to rejoice when those you love do things that help them to be better, to be who they are meant to be. Many a time we tend to want to control the people that we say we love. Examples may include wanting your child to be what you dream for them instead of letting them be who they are and getting upset with them when they choose a path that you do not approve of. OR Loving a friend for what they can do for you and being disappointed if they fail to meet those needs. OR Trying to change your partner into who you think they should be to better serve you instead of loving them for who they are and giving them the freedom to experience the best of themselves. OR Refusing to free yourself from the guilt you feel over things you have done in the past causing yourself to worry over nothing and in the end fail to realize your own full potential because you are so caught up over the past that you deny yourself a better future. Basically loving unconditionally involves giving unlimited freedom to yourself and those whose lives you touch to be who they really are and to celebrate yourself and them for that.

Here are certain things you can do to love yourself and others unconditionally:
1. Forgive yourself and move forward into your best self.
2. Forgive other people and free them from mistakes you believe they have done to you. Let them have a chance to move forward into who they are and not walk on egg shells around you afraid to make you unhappy.
3. Expect nothing in return, be a gift to other people and expect nothing in return. Love because you can; not because you can get something back.
4. Choose to do everything out of love, make decisions based on love and not fear – in your job, in the supermarket, when you interact with other people, when you make a life decision about anything big or small, let it be based on love and not fear.
5. Let those you love know that you love them always. They may say, “Oh you say it too much” but would you rather not say it? My mom used to tell me she loves me and is proud of me all the time. Sometimes I would be like “Oh my gosh mom, there are people around stop saying that, it’s not cool.” But when she passed away one thing I knew and still know for sure is that she loved me and was proud of me because she told me so. “I love you so much” were her last words to me. On the day of her funeral, one of my closest friends said to me, there is no doubt that woman loved you to bits and was proud of you. When I was home this past month visiting my family my aunt reminded me, “Do you know how much your mom loved you? She used to tell me all the time!” This has helped me to not wonder if she loved me or not for I know that she did.
6. Consider that love is everywhere and in different forms and shape – it’s in the brightness of the sun, it’s in the friendly guard who greats you with a big smile when you leave your home in the morning, it’s in the embrace of a good friend, it’s on the faces of little children, it’s in the whiteness of snow and in the kindest words a stranger says to you. Love is all around; you do not have to look hard for it. You didn’t leave it in your city or your country; it is there where you are.
7. Never stop loving; if you do something really horrible to someone and feel the biggest amount to guilt, never stop loving yourself; if you love another person be it a friend or partner and they never seem to love you back, never stop loving them; if you have been hurt by the things others have done to you, never stop loving because love is all there is. It takes so much energy to hate and put down other people and when you look at it, those reactions are rooted in fear. Love your enemies unconditionally and do good to those who hurt you; it is enlightening – it lightens you up. It makes you look good and young too! Fear makes you shrink into who you are not, and cripples you from moving forward but love frees you into living your best life. Love is really all there is.

Strive from today on to love unconditionally.

Be Blessed,
with love…fadzi